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Welcome to my nightmare….

So after much thought and deliberation, here I am with a blog.  I plan to put a lot of things I’ve already written (and I will let you know stuff like “this was written in FB on   /  /  .”), as well as general musings, and probably a bunch of stuff about my weight loss (man do I have a LOT to say about that).  I welcome you, I warn you, and I send you on your way.  Stay on the path, be out of the woods before dark, and don’t trust the wolf that says he knows a shortcut.  He’s full of crap.

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Tales From the Funeral Home

It’s true, I live across the street from the backdoor of a mortuary.  And let me tell you, when you have nothing better to do than look out your kitchen window at any given time, you…see some shit.
I have seen the casket company deliver the “new models”.  The place is actually called Batesville Casket Company.
I have also seen the hearse pull up to the back door and unload a gurney.  With a body bag on it.

One day, I nearly had a heart attack.
I saw two young people wheeling a gurney out the back door WITH A BODY ON IT.  No body bag, no sheet, just a body.  I watched as the fought and struggled with the gurney to get the legs to collapse so they could put it in the back of the hearse, while the body on it was jostled about.  Then, when they finally succeeded, the body SAT UP and high-fived them.  I guess they were in training for something.

So yeah, if the zombie apocalypse happens (there is also another mortuary about 2 blocks away), we are screwed.

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Lazy Ass

Thought I’d drop in today and tell you the true story about the laziest guy I ever dated.

When I met him (and throughout our short relationship), he was overweight.  It didn’t bother me, after all, nobody’s perfect, but he told me it bothered him.  He had a juicer and used to do 1-2 day juice fasts occasionally, but he never exercised.  I will be the first to say exercising sucks, but doing a juice fast once a month will NOT help you lose weight, especially if you eat crap.  He and his roomies did.  There were takeout food containers (with food in various states of decay) literally covering every surface in the kitchen and the coffee table and filling the fridge – they never cooked.
He wouldn’t work out, even though the apartment complex he lived in had an exercise room.  It wasn’t the best, but it was SOMETHING.  Not only that, it was in the same area as the laundry room.  I told him it was perfect: put in your laundry, and workout while it’s getting clean.  Two birds with one stone.
But he hated doing laundry.
Laundry isn’t anyone favorite thing, but sooner or later you HAVE to do it.  Unless you are unbelievably lazy.  And this is where that comes into play.
I needed a new mouse for my laptop, and he had seen some at Ross.  So we went there, and he wandered off while I looked for a mouse.  I found a cute tiny one that was purple, so I got that, and some earbuds in the shape of little skulls, then went off in search of him.  I found him in the bedding aisle looking at sheets.  He had a package in his hand and said, “I think I’m gonna get these.”  He hadn’t said anything about needing or wanting sheets, but whatever.  He HAD, however, talked about needing to wash his sheets but he didn’t want to.  I said, “With these and your other sheets, you’ll have nice full load.  But wash it in cold in case the colors in the new sheets run.”
He looked at me like I was nuts.  Turns out he was buying new sheets so he wouldn’t have to wash the ones he was using.  He would just put the new sheets on and deal with the dirty ones “later”.
I said, “You can’t do that.  When the sheets are packaged, the put chemicals on them to make them look nice and wrinkle-free in the package.  You NEED to wash them first.”
He argued with me, “No I don’t!”  I pointed to the front of the package where it said, “Wash Sheets Before Using”.
That made him really mad, and guess what?  He didn’t buy the sheets and complained for the rest of the day.
The boy was so lazy, that he would rather drive to the store and waste money buying new sheets than wash the ones he already had.
Yeah.

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My ER Visit, Migraines, and the Books I Read This Year

So if you know me, you know that I have suffered from debilitating migraines for almost 30 years.  For most of those years I would go months, sometimes even years, without having one.  But in the last few years, they have become more prevalent.  I started keeping track in 2017, and in that year I had 36 migraine days.
In 2018, I had 75.

When I have them, these aren’t “bad headaches”.  These are crippling, blinding, nauseating things.  I cannot have any lights on at all, to the point that I put on those little blindfolds you use to sleep.  I have no sense of balance, I can’t stand the smell of anything, and sound seems amplified to 11.  Imagine your worst hangover multiplied by 100, and imagine it lasting for four days on average.  That’s pretty much what it’s like.

Twice last year, in November and December, I had to go to the emergency room.  They gave me morphine which got rid of the pain, thankfully.
This year, I had to go to the ER on New Year’s Eve.  Yep.  They couldn’t give me morphine because of the meds I am on for the migraines (which obviously aren’t working), so they started with a bag of fluids.  It was a mix of Reglan, high dose Benadryl, and Magnesium.  After the first bag was done, I wasn’t feeling any better, so they gave me a second bag, and a dose of Ketamine.
I still hurt, but the Ketamine made me care a lot less about it!  I was finally discharged at 10 p.m. and headed home, in bed by 10:30.
Hope your New Year’s was more fun!

Every year, I have a goal to read 12 books.  Real books, with pages you turn, not stuff online (although I read a lot of that as well).  I ended up reading 17 books this year, and here’s the list.

1)  The Walking Dead, Book Ten -Robert Kirkman (these are big volumes complied of several issues of the comics).
2) The Walking Dead, Book Eleven – Robert Kirkman
3) The Walking Dead, Book Twelve – Robert Kirkman
4) The Walking Dead, Book Thirteen – Robert Kirkman
5) The Walking Dead, Book Fourteen – Robert Kirkman
6) I Was a TV Horror Host – John Stanley
7) Between A Rock and a Hard Place – Hipsy Bohannon
8) Encyclopedia Of Mistresses – An Under-the-Covers Look at the “Other Women” of History’s Most Influential Men – Dawn B. Sova, Ph.D.
9) Zen In the Art Of Writing – Releasing the Creative Genius Within You – Ray Bradbury
10) Zero Waste Home: The Ultimate Guide to Simplifying Your Life by Reducing Your Waste – Bea Johnson
11) Extreme Couponing: Learn How To Be a Savvy Shopper and Save Money…One Coupon At a Time – Joni Meyer-Crothers with Beth Adelman
12) Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Home : No-Nonsense Advice That Will Inspire You to Clean Like the Dickens – Thelma Meyer
13) Brave – Rose McGowan
14) Dietland – Sarai Walker
15) Waste Free Kitchen Handbook: A Guide To Eating Well and Saving Money By Wasting Less Food – Dana Gunders
16) The Tightwad Gazette II: Promoting Thrift as a Viable Alternative Lifestyle – Amy Dacyczyn
17) Ecothrifty: Cheaper, Greener Choices For a Happier, Healthier Life – Deborah Niemann

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the books I’ve read.

Until next time, keep warm – it’s freezing over here!

 

 

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Nope, Not Dead

Not for a good long while, I hope.  I’ve been gone for so long though, and I feel that I owe something to my one loyal reader, so I’m throwing together a mishmash of shit I like and I hope you might enjoy as well.

BOOKS:
My goal this year was to read 12 books.  REAL, books, the kind with pages you turn.  Proudly, I have surpassed the goal and am currently on book 15, but I want to talk about the last two I read.
First was Brave by Rose McGowan.  Now if you don’t like her and/or want to spew hateful shit, go somewhere else.  You won’t change my mind, and I won’t change yours.  Reading this book, you see so much more than the hot actress.  She is strong, amazing, and yes, brave for speaking out against the hateful shit show that the Hollywood machine is and always has been.  She talks about her sexual assault at the hands of Harvey Weinstein (he is so gross), her relationship with Marilyn Manson, being black listed for speaking out and more.  It was an amazing read.
Another book was Dietland by Sarai Walker.  I had seen the summer series on AMC without even knowing it was based on a book, and LOVED it.  The book is 100% better.  It’s about Alicia “Plum” Kettle, a fat girl in a thin world, and what it takes for her to accept herself as she is, fat or not.  There is a saying, “In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”  This is another great read.

 

MOVIES:
I watched the remake of It.  Yeah.  Maybe I need to see the original miniseries with Tim Curry?  The most frightening part of the movie was the pervert dad, not the clown.  But the music (minus New Kids On the Block) was good.
Then just yesterday, saw a doc on Netflix called “God Knows Where I Am”.  Shows how bad the so-called “mental health system” we have in this country can fail a person.  Sad, but 100% worth watching.

YOUTUBE:
Been watching a lot of this as of late, here are some channels I like.
Freakin’ Reviews – Ever wondered if those “As Seen On TV” gadgets work?  Chances are James White has tried them.  He buys them with his own cash, and reviews them honestly.  He has saved me so much money from buying products that look really great but aren’t!
Minty Comedic Arts – I LOVE Minty!  He does a lot of pop culture stuff, mostly “10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About  (insert movie here)”.  He’s got a great sense of humor, and I love his Australian accent.
Shelbizleee – Shelbi is the person who got me interested in the zero waste/less waste movement.  She does “anti-haul” videos about stuff that is wasteful and/or harmful to the environment and breaks down why, she shows you how you can do little things to make a difference (I also take my own cup to Peet’s and have my own aluminum straw), and ends her videos with the phrase, “Remember, you can’t do all the good the world needs, but the world needs all the good you can do.”  I like that.


The other thing of course are the fires, as the entire state of California seems ready to go up in flames.  I’ve had to wear a mask whenever I leave the house…I feel sort of like a storm trooper or something.  Today was the first day when the air quality was below 100, at 75 (anything between 0 – 50 is considered “safe”).  I haven’t been able to work out, as all the huffing and puffing won’t help things.  Usually the winds push smoke like this out across the SF Bay, where it dissipates, but we had this weird cross breeze that was making it just sit above us.  So for a few weeks, we had air quality that was worse than Dubai and Beijing.  The masks that we needed (N95) were impossible to find, as every store was selling out of them.  I lucked out and got a box at the hardware store a mile away.  We bought some on Amazon, but they aren’t scheduled to arrive until December, but at least we’ll be well prepared if this happens again (I hope not).  The good news is that it’s raining today, so hopefully the rain will help put out/slow down/stop the fires.

So that’s pretty much what’s going on at my end.  How are you?

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Technology

(This was posted in my FB on 9/28/2012)

Re-reading “Drawing Blood” by Poppy Z. Brite again, as I try to do every year. Didn’t get to it last year. It’s my favorite book of hers, and has literally saved my life (along with “Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka). The book was published in 1993, and one of the main characters is a computer hacker. However, at this time, the internet was basically in it’s infancy. There are references to floppy disks, an OKI 900 cell phone, “phone phreaks”, the Church of the Subgenius, BBS systems, the Psychic Friends Network, and putting the phone onto the modem (you can see this in “War Games” and “Weird Science”). It amuses me that technology has come so far, and makes me a little sad as well. It’s great that you can stay connected to friend and talk to them on Skype for free vs. racking up a huge long distance phone bill, but so many people have replaced social *interaction* with social *networking*. It’s not the same. *puts on old lady costume* I remember a world before the internet and cell phones. Hell, I remember dial phones and when the TV basically had about 5 channels. And when the Atari 2600 was cutting edge, with it’s high-tech (at the time) pixilated graphics. We’ve come a long way. I hope in the end, it’s all worth it.

 

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Just a Quick FYI….

For some reason, for months now, I have been unable to access, my likes/comments/follows, etc.  I AM NOT IGNORING YOU!  Whenever I try to check it, I get the spinny wheel of death.  Not sure how to fix this, so I apologize to anyone who may have tried to contact me!

Posted in random

Channing Tatum and Jerry Springer

I was thinking of the Jerry Springer Show the other day (I have free time and my mind wanders).  I think I saw a few episodes back in the day and realized rather quickly that it was not good TV.
I think I watched it three times, just to be sure and give it a fair shake.  They were all different episodes on different days with different people, but I swear it was the same damn show each time.
There were two women fighting over this one guy.  I think they should have been fighting to get some eyeglasses and brain cells because this guy wasn’t worth wanting by one woman, let alone two.
Like I said, these were all different people, yet the same.
The guy was some skinny ass dude in a trucker cap with a mullet, no front teeth, no home, no job, didn’t want to get a job and couldn’t because he’d never finished high school and he had a criminal record, smoked two packs a day, drank a six pack a day and did nothing but sit around.  It wasn’t like he was cleaning up or helping around the house, he wasn’t.  Just sat around smoking cigs, drinking beer, and watching TV all day (probably watched Jerry Springer, to be honest).
The two women….they weren’t BAD, per se.  I’d say their biggest flaw was their taste in men.  Remember they were fighting over THIS GUY.  No job, no money, no nothing, but they both wanted him.  WHY?????
I mean these bitches were arguing over his trashy ass like he was Channing Tatum.  If it HAD been Channing Tatum, fuck yeah, I’d throw my hat in the ring.  But this was a guy that made Joe Dirt look classy.
I don’t even know if Springer is on the air anymore, but it struck me as the lowest common denominator of people desperate enough to do literally ANYTHING to get on TV.
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