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Lazy Ass

Thought I’d drop in today and tell you the true story about the laziest guy I ever dated.

When I met him (and throughout our short relationship), he was overweight.  It didn’t bother me, after all, nobody’s perfect, but he told me it bothered him.  He had a juicer and used to do 1-2 day juice fasts occasionally, but he never exercised.  I will be the first to say exercising sucks, but doing a juice fast once a month will NOT help you lose weight, especially if you eat crap.  He and his roomies did.  There were takeout food containers (with food in various states of decay) literally covering every surface in the kitchen and the coffee table and filling the fridge – they never cooked.
He wouldn’t work out, even though the apartment complex he lived in had an exercise room.  It wasn’t the best, but it was SOMETHING.  Not only that, it was in the same area as the laundry room.  I told him it was perfect: put in your laundry, and workout while it’s getting clean.  Two birds with one stone.
But he hated doing laundry.
Laundry isn’t anyone favorite thing, but sooner or later you HAVE to do it.  Unless you are unbelievably lazy.  And this is where that comes into play.
I needed a new mouse for my laptop, and he had seen some at Ross.  So we went there, and he wandered off while I looked for a mouse.  I found a cute tiny one that was purple, so I got that, and some earbuds in the shape of little skulls, then went off in search of him.  I found him in the bedding aisle looking at sheets.  He had a package in his hand and said, “I think I’m gonna get these.”  He hadn’t said anything about needing or wanting sheets, but whatever.  He HAD, however, talked about needing to wash his sheets but he didn’t want to.  I said, “With these and your other sheets, you’ll have nice full load.  But wash it in cold in case the colors in the new sheets run.”
He looked at me like I was nuts.  Turns out he was buying new sheets so he wouldn’t have to wash the ones he was using.  He would just put the new sheets on and deal with the dirty ones “later”.
I said, “You can’t do that.  When the sheets are packaged, the put chemicals on them to make them look nice and wrinkle-free in the package.  You NEED to wash them first.”
He argued with me, “No I don’t!”  I pointed to the front of the package where it said, “Wash Sheets Before Using”.
That made him really mad, and guess what?  He didn’t buy the sheets and complained for the rest of the day.
The boy was so lazy, that he would rather drive to the store and waste money buying new sheets than wash the ones he already had.
Yeah.

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My ER Visit, Migraines, and the Books I Read This Year

So if you know me, you know that I have suffered from debilitating migraines for almost 30 years.  For most of those years I would go months, sometimes even years, without having one.  But in the last few years, they have become more prevalent.  I started keeping track in 2017, and in that year I had 36 migraine days.
In 2018, I had 75.

When I have them, these aren’t “bad headaches”.  These are crippling, blinding, nauseating things.  I cannot have any lights on at all, to the point that I put on those little blindfolds you use to sleep.  I have no sense of balance, I can’t stand the smell of anything, and sound seems amplified to 11.  Imagine your worst hangover multiplied by 100, and imagine it lasting for four days on average.  That’s pretty much what it’s like.

Twice last year, in November and December, I had to go to the emergency room.  They gave me morphine which got rid of the pain, thankfully.
This year, I had to go to the ER on New Year’s Eve.  Yep.  They couldn’t give me morphine because of the meds I am on for the migraines (which obviously aren’t working), so they started with a bag of fluids.  It was a mix of Reglan, high dose Benadryl, and Magnesium.  After the first bag was done, I wasn’t feeling any better, so they gave me a second bag, and a dose of Ketamine.
I still hurt, but the Ketamine made me care a lot less about it!  I was finally discharged at 10 p.m. and headed home, in bed by 10:30.
Hope your New Year’s was more fun!

Every year, I have a goal to read 12 books.  Real books, with pages you turn, not stuff online (although I read a lot of that as well).  I ended up reading 17 books this year, and here’s the list.

1)  The Walking Dead, Book Ten -Robert Kirkman (these are big volumes complied of several issues of the comics).
2) The Walking Dead, Book Eleven – Robert Kirkman
3) The Walking Dead, Book Twelve – Robert Kirkman
4) The Walking Dead, Book Thirteen – Robert Kirkman
5) The Walking Dead, Book Fourteen – Robert Kirkman
6) I Was a TV Horror Host – John Stanley
7) Between A Rock and a Hard Place – Hipsy Bohannon
8) Encyclopedia Of Mistresses – An Under-the-Covers Look at the “Other Women” of History’s Most Influential Men – Dawn B. Sova, Ph.D.
9) Zen In the Art Of Writing – Releasing the Creative Genius Within You – Ray Bradbury
10) Zero Waste Home: The Ultimate Guide to Simplifying Your Life by Reducing Your Waste – Bea Johnson
11) Extreme Couponing: Learn How To Be a Savvy Shopper and Save Money…One Coupon At a Time – Joni Meyer-Crothers with Beth Adelman
12) Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Home : No-Nonsense Advice That Will Inspire You to Clean Like the Dickens – Thelma Meyer
13) Brave – Rose McGowan
14) Dietland – Sarai Walker
15) Waste Free Kitchen Handbook: A Guide To Eating Well and Saving Money By Wasting Less Food – Dana Gunders
16) The Tightwad Gazette II: Promoting Thrift as a Viable Alternative Lifestyle – Amy Dacyczyn
17) Ecothrifty: Cheaper, Greener Choices For a Happier, Healthier Life – Deborah Niemann

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the books I’ve read.

Until next time, keep warm – it’s freezing over here!